Motherhood can feel like a whole new world. You arrive on a foreign planet and you have to learn to navigate and speak an alien language. And while you may master the basics of survival and learn your way to the closest coffee shop, you might not have a community. One of the realities of the new motherhood planet, that often gets neglected, is the loneliness. Yes, there are other lifeforms but how do you make meaningful contact?
I think women, especially moms, have an innate need to connect. Deep down we know the key to survival is to find our network, our tribe, our “mom friends”. We have the emotional intelligence to know that the support from friends, especially other moms, is key in our journey through parenthood.
How to Find Mom Friends on the Seacoast and Beyond: Follow my L-O-V-E-D steps:
- L – LOOK for Seacoast moms groups: story hours, playgroups, toddler open gym, preschool play classes and the like. Check your local Seacoast library, recreation department, pediatrician’s office, church, or indoor play place.
- O – ORGANIZE your own Seacoast moms group. When in doubt, create your own group by giving a Facebook shout-out to your town’s FB page. “Hey moms of toddlers, let’s meet at Portsmouth Library at 9:00 am on Saturday.” Or create a Meet Up group. All it takes is one other mom to connect!
- V – be VALIANT You need to be brave, mama. Meeting new people is hard. You may not find the right friends at first but you need to keep trying. I tried one mommy group and hated it. They felt snobby to me and did not welcome newcomers well. I moved on (clearly still scarred from that experience). The next group I found became a basic staple in my mom life and we spent the next 5 years meeting weekly with our children for a playdate. But I had to show up, be brave, and express how vulnerable I was at that point in my life. For me, the beauty of the right mommy group is that you and your baby can show up disheveled, frazzled and hungry…and it’s ok, they’ve got you!
- E – relationships EVOLVE over time. Not all friendships last forever. And that is okay. People come and go in our lives and give us strength and support when we need it. And then we may diverge on differing paths. Happily, new friends will emerge providing this chapter’s needed support. Be open to this evolution. Once my daughters went to school, my mommy group could not meet weekly. Also I got divorced, moved, and got remarried. All these life-changing events meant that new friends entered my world and others took a back seat. But the love and gratitude for those women during that pivotal time in my life will stick in my heart for the rest of my life.
And Lastly,
- D for DELEGATE. Delegate baby duties to daddy or grandma so that you can go out with friends without your sweet cherub. Mommy sometimes needs a playdate for herself! For more on this, check out Heather’s article about how to ask our partners for help.
Ideas for Meeting Other Seacoast Mom Friends:
- Check out our listing for Story Times at your Local Seacoast Library.
- Know your Seacoast neighborhood! What are the spots? Check out our Neighborhood Guides for links to local recreation departments and more!
- Pick up a mom at one of our favorite Seacoast playgrounds or indoor play places. Don’t be above striking up a conversation.
- Check out different play groups – we have a whole listing of Toddler Classes on the Seacoast with tons of options (many free).
- Do you have multiples? Try Seacoast Moms of Multiples!
- Join Seacoast Mother’s Association.
Last bit of advice: I met one of my favorite mom friends at the library just by being open and saying “hi” while wondering the stacks with my children. You’re not going to find any new friends if you don’t try.
