Every year, on that early Sunday in May, we look to the mothers in our village and express our thanks. We do this with brunches, flowers, cards, and gifts. We look to our mothers with full hearts; honoring them for their incredible efforts in growing, birthing, and raising humans. I am one of those mothers. And I look to each of you with eyes, brimming with pride. But not just because you’re a mother. You’re also one of my cherished mom friends.
Mom friends, you are a very special breed of mom.
Mom friends, you are the moms that show up for other moms. You are the women who, despite their own stress, sleep deprivation, and struggles, open your hearts up and lean in with a listening ear. You validate, problem-solve, cheerlead, nurture, brainstorm, and most-importantly, laugh, alongside me. In essence, you mother the mothers around you. It is a very special gift to have someone like you in my life. Mom friend- you are so appreciated and invaluable.
You get me in a way that no one else ever will.
My dear mom friend, you are no ordinary pal. There is no judgement. I can be my authentic self with you. There is no pressure. Around you, I can be showered with a bronzer glow, or sleepless, with the messiest of messy buns. You see me because you know exactly what it feels like to be me, and I don’t have to explain a thing.
With mom friends, there is an unparalleled intimacy. My childless friends and family will never be able to sit with me in the way that you do. Not for lack of trying, but simply because us moms have a connection that is unlike any other human bond. For that alone, I am grateful that motherhood has drawn me into such a precious circle.
Despite any of my husband’s sincere efforts to support me, there are complexities to motherhood that he will never comprehend.
As a mom friend, you do not replace my husband. He strives to support me in his own ways. You complement his role and help me to work through the trenches of motherhood. Meeting me where I am, you hand me a coffee, and reassuringly remind me, “you’ve got this”. And I do, because I have you.
You’ve seen me in a way that no other human ever will.
You’ve seen me cry. And you’ve seen me terribly sleepless. You have seen pandemic me. But also mama’s-night-out me. You’ve seen me at my best, and most likely, at my worst. And if our children grow out of their playdates and begin lives of their own, even if we rarely meet again, in this moment, your friendship means the world to be.
You are my village- in all manners of speak.
Your friendship, is timeless. As a mom friend, you are my village. And for mamas, this is essential. In the wise words of writer, Holly Robinson, “Friends enrich every stage of our life, but friendships during motherhood are a life jacket that keeps your head above water”.
And above the water my head has stayed. Thanks to you. Mom friend, you elevate me to be the best mom that I can be. You encourage me. And challenge me. There is no one else I’d rather talk baby poop, diastasis recti, breast pumps, potty training, toddler tantrums, IEPs, or teenager acne with.
I can only hope that I have, and will always be, a true mama friend. To you. To new mothers. Really, to any parent needing to be seen.
So Happy Mother’s Day to my mama friends. I would be lost without you.
Your Mom Friend