In the glitz and glamour of Mother’s Day, we often forget that being a mother and being mothered can be painful experiences.
In my healing practice, I often see energetic wounds that are due to how someone was mothered and how they continue to mother themselves.
There’s a way to begin to heal these wounds so that you can show up for yourself and your kids with the presence you all deserve.
Forgive your mother.
Forgive your mom for not being what you wanted and needed her to be. Let these words of forgiveness become a mantra in your mind every time you remember a particular wound related to her: ‘I forgive you for not being what I wanted and needed you to be. Please forgive me for not being what you wanted and needed me to be.‘ Imagine her soul sitting in front of you as you tell her these words.
Another way to do this is to use the traditional Hawaiian prayer Ho’oponopono ‘I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.‘ Repeat your mantras daily until you feel a shift or release.
Thank your mother.
Thank her for giving you the gift of life. For being the vessel that let you have a physical form. Thank her for contributing to your resilience knowingly or unknowingly. Express gratitude to her for all the challenges as well as the goodness she brought into your life.
Work on forgiving yourself for whatever part you played in your relationship. Forgive yourself for not always knowing what to say to your mom or how to be around her in a way that protects you. Most importantly, forgive yourself for being the mother that you are now. In whatever way you mirror your mom or make your own mistakes, remember that you are human too. Take a moment to breathe and forgive. Plus, you can use the mantras of forgiveness that I shared above.
Re-mother yourself and tend to the needs of your inner child.
No matter what wounds you have, your re-mothering and healing is your responsibility now. It is critical that you make time to recognize and heal your wounds by tending to the needs of your inner child. You can download this brief meditation to help you check-in with your inner child daily. Your healing means that the wounds of your mom and your grandmothers won’t pass on as a burden to your children. Additionally, it means that you can be present to the life that is here for you and your children.
Ask for help.
If your wounding feels too deep, please ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone. There are so many ways to heal. Reach out to a healer or a health care professional you trust to begin to unwind your old mother wounds.
Spoil your inner child! This Mother’s Day, take some time to do something special just for yourself. You don’t have to share or explain this. Invest in a gift for yourself. Take an afternoon to walk by the ocean. Or order your favorite take-out and let your inner child savor and enjoy every minute of this indulgence!