A few months ago, I visited an indoor trampoline venue with a bunch of other moms. We went without our kids–basically, we went on an adult play date. The idea of bouncing off the walls with grown women sounded like so much fun, I couldn’t wait.
Then I got there. I put on the weird socks they give you, hit the trampolines, and started jumping.
OH MY WORD, DID I JUST PEE MY PANTS?
And I did–with every. goddamn. jump. Let me start by saying that I am an active person. I practice and teach yoga, work out daily, and am seriously dedicated to my health and fitness. Because of this, I always thought I was exempt from experiencing the postpartum bladder control issues other women told me about. Because I had never experienced the sneezing, coughing, or exercise-induced pants-wetting situation, I thought,”My pelvic floor is the sh*t! Kegels can suck it! My bladder is totally the same after baby!” And then I got on a trampoline–mortification station. What bladder control?
I snuck into the bathroom, stole an unopened microfiber cleaning cloth from the janitorial supply closet and stuffed it in my pants.
Then I used the hand dryer to dry off my pants. It was SUPER awkward because it was one of those Dyson Airdblade dryers, in which you slowly insert your hands in and slowly draw them out. Needless to say, my yoga moves came in handy. I returned to my friends with my secret shame, and kept jumping. I made tiny jumps–with my legs as close together as possible, obviously. In addition to feeling completely horrified by my lack of bladder control (this is called stress urinary incontinence), I felt frustrated at my body.
I ask myself, do I have to live like this? Do I want to accept this for myself?
Hell to the no. I reached out to a friend who happens to be a physical therapist who has particular pelvic floor knowledge and training. The pelvic floor is the group of bowl-shaped muscles that extends from the pubic symphysis (the bony part at the front of your pelvis, above your vagina) to the tailbone and from sitting bone to sitting bone. I cornered Emily Lerner of Oceanside Physical Therapy in Stratham at a coffee shop and demanded she help me and, by association, moms everywhere. She had loads to say and, because I think the world would be better if we all peed our pants a little bit less, I’m sharing her wisdom with all of you.
What you should do if you experience some loss of bladder control:
- Breathe Well. Sounds easy, right? The reality is, most of us go around all day cheating ourselves out of oxygen and the benefits that come from real, full breathing. Emily suggests that you lie on the floor, connect the soles of your feet, open your knees (think butterfly), and breathe. If this isn’t comfortable, put pillows under each knee to support your hips and inner thighs. Place your hands on your belly and notice it rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. Spend time here. Breathe and try to do it well.
- Relax & Contract Well. There’s a lot of talk about Kegels, the act of engaging the same pelvic muscles that control the flow of urine. Squeezing like crazy isn’t going to get you anywhere unless you can also relax well however, Emily says. As you lie on the floor and inhale, she asks patients to notice their pelvic floor and the muscles around it (the glutes, hips, and abdominals) relax. She says you should feel an opening in your lower half, even through your vagina. With every inhale, you should feel that opening and relaxation; while every exhale, you should feel a pulling up and in from the pelvic floor up into the belly, even contracting a little bit like a Kegels. Julie Wiebe, a leading pelvic-floor focused physical therapist, has a great video describing the piston movement of the pelvic floor if you’re more of a visual learner. If patients find this is challenging to notice, Emily suggests that they sit up tall, with a firm pillow underneath. You might notice the tactile sensation “down there” more when you’re touching a pillow. The up-and-down movement you experience is a bit like a trampoline. No, the irony is not lost on me. Spend time here. Relax and contract…and do it well.
- Move Well. Notice how your body spends its days: are you sitting a ton? Standing? Walking? Can you diversify the way your body spends its days? From practicing yoga to stretching while you watch television, Emily suggests switching things up in order to strengthen and loosen some of the muscles you’ve been neglecting. Chances are, your hips and their stabilizing muscles are part of your pee problem. Move your body and move it well.
The thing is, we don’t have to live like this.
Whether you are peeing yourself every time you sneeze (clinical term: “peezing”) or stealing microfiber towels from supply closets to stuff in your pants, we can improve the whole pelvic floor system with some breath, relaxation, and a little work. Try this out to see: 1) how aware you are of your pelvic floor, and 2) how strong and receptive it is as you follow the above steps. If you need help and support in this area, talk to your gynecologist and find a physical therapist like Emily in your neck of the woods. (Seacoast people, go to Oceanside!)
Carrying and birthing these tiny humans of ours changes us, whether we like it our not. The changes we experience related to our bladder control don’t have to stay that way! The changes in our heart and soul? Well, they are here to stay. Thank goodness.
