Dear Mom With The Fussy Baby: You Are Not Alone


I see you. I know how it feels. You are not alone.

I know crying.

I know how it feels to have the endless crying echo in your ears, like all you can hear are the screams of your sweet little one and the world is closing in around you. To feel like there is nothing you can do to stop the noise.

The defeat of trying all the ideas and suggestions you can – and still coming up empty-handed. You are not alone.

I know isolation.

I have dreaded going out in public. Shopping trips abandoned before ever leaving the car…or the house.

Rushing through the grocery store to grab those few things you can’t survive without. Waiting for your baby to wake up and scream.

I know the feeling of all eyes on you as you can’t console your baby in the checkout line. Feeling the hot eyes on the back of your head as you dig through your purse to find your wallet. Wondering if you remembered to brush your teeth this morning. You are not alone.

I know exhaustion.

I have spent hours getting my baby to fall asleep only to have them pop awake as soon as I put them down. Lying awake after your baby has finally fallen asleep knowing that as soon as your eyes close they will wake up again. You are not alone.

I know judgement.

“You hold him too much.” “She’s spoiled.” “Try rice cereal.” “Have you eliminated dairy? Wheat? Soy? Nightshades? Happiness?” “Have you tried………?” “You’re doing it wrong…”

I have felt the judgement from my pediatrician when my 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…year old still didn’t sleep through the night. Gotten the looks when I’m ignoring the crying because I just need to finish what I’m doing and get the heck out of there! You are not alone.

I know worry and fear.

Wondering if the crying is normal. Worrying that there is something wrong with your baby. Fearing the medical tests. Wanting to make your baby’s pain go away. Helplessness.

{If you are a mom of a fussy baby and have concerns about your baby’s health, please do consult your doctor! Sometimes these things can be explained with a medical diagnosis.}

I know it is not your fault.

Babies cry. Some cry a little, some cry a lot. Winning the fussy baby lottery does not make you a bad mom.

All you can do is do the best you can.

Sometimes you need to eat, or take a shower, or feed the older children. Those things do not make you a bad mom. You are not alone.

I know it gets better.

Zinnia, 2. Former Fussy Baby

First of all, I give you permission to want to smack me for saying that. I also give you permission to want to smack every person who tells you to “enjoy it while it lasts.” Unfortunately, if you have a chronically fussy baby, the early months may not feel that enjoyable. I give you permission to resent moms with “easy” babies…or babies who sleep through the night.

But know this: it really does (in most cases) get better!

The good news is, these fussy babies eventually grow up…and grow out of it. Most babies eventually learn to communicate their needs in a method other than crying. When that happens you finally get the chance to see what their little personality is underneath all the crying. And, trust me, it’s worth it!


  1. Lydia, we had one of those…I tried everything and still had a fussy baby.
    our Veterinary gave me the best advice for having Keith sleep through the night…he said they left a light on in their child’s room and a couple of bottles of milk at the head of the crib (obviously after he could crawl) and in the morning I hit the floor running thinking “crib death” as I hadn’t gotten woken up….and there he lay like a little cherub still sleeping and all the bottles empty. .
    he now is married with 3 great children of his own…all as different as 3 kids can be!

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