Motherhood was a distant dream for me. A fantasy, really. Several years were filled with tears, frustration and struggle as my husband and I waited for a positive pregnancy test. It never came. We decided against undergoing any fertility treatments and knew that adoption was the way our family would be formed. Another two years went by until we were chosen by a beautiful family to raise their daughter. 

Because of the magnitude of her gift, I am often at a loss of what to say to her–she sacrificed a part of herself because she loved her baby unconditionally. She gave me the most priceless gift I will ever receive–motherhood.

I know full well that each adoption story is unique in its own right, and that some are beautiful stories while others are just plain hard. Here is a small glimpse into my story, a story of sacrificial love.

Dear Amy * (name changed for privacy),

I constantly reflect on what exactly this precious life of our daughter represents. As mothers, we do all that we can for our children. As her first mother, you personify two specific traits.

You exude love.

Only a mother is able to see beyond herself and love a child so deeply that the baby’s needs comes before anything else. Not only have you given me a baby, but you have given me a piece of yourself that I carry with me each and every day. To give a piece of yourself like this is to deeply love. I can’t quite wrap my mind around it. I am in awe of your strength.

It has been four years since you placed her in my arms and my journey into motherhood began. And I still catch myself not believing that I am a mother to such a fun, sassy, energetic girl. She is the light of my life and my heart explodes with love for her. I remember every detail of our short time together four years ago. Right before we said goodbye, I saw the love in your eyes as you held her for the last time, tenderly fixing her swaddle so she was cozy and warm. You kissed her and said goodbye and then turned to me. I was completely speechless as we hugged each other, neither one of us wanting to let go. 

As I continue to morph into my role of motherhood, I see how love affects every decision I make in regards to my children. Some decisions are easy; others are more difficult. Even so, love is the helm that steers my every move. And you, my dear friend, are Love in human form. 

You exude sacrifice.

Sacrifice and love intertwine into the very fabric of our core as mothers. You literally sacrificed a part of yourself and gifted it to me and my husband. When we met face to face an hour after she was born, you sacrificed your time with her so we could start caring for her instantly. I know you didn’t come to that decision lightly. And I certainly wasn’t ignorant to the fact that, while our hearts were full of joy, you left the hospital with empty arms and a hole in your soul that will never be filled.

Love is the fuel that drives sacrifice.

Our little girl bonds us for eternity. Your trust in me is humbling. It is an honor to share motherhood with you.