In an era of social media where mom-shaming and judgmental feedback is ripe across the internet, I would like to recognize the undervalued importance of your mom game. You may not realize it, but I see you. I see you at the park, in the grocery store, at the library, or around town. You’re trying your hardest mama, and I notice it, because I have been there. Most days, I am there. Right in the trenches with you. This mama business is tough stuff and you need to know that your hard, seemingly-thankless work, is paying off.
You see mighty mama, the tells are clear as day:
1. Your kids look more put together than you do.
You’re still beautiful mama, even with those stained jeans and mismatched earrings.
2. Your car screams, “my child has been here!”
When I was pregnant with my first, a co-worker noted how clean my car was and laughed as she said, “well this won’t last long!” Fast forward and two children later, she couldn’t be more accurate. These days my car is like a graveyard for stale fries (at least they look like fries), and discarded beach sand. Sound familiar? I assure you that it has nothing to do with your cleanliness and everything to do with how many times you’ve attempted to carry that near-sleeping tot to her crib before she stirs.
3. Your house screams, “my child has lived here!”
Your car might be messy but your house is an explosion of toys, books, and laundry. It’s not that you don’t pick up. Gosh darn it, you’ve taught your kid(s) the most obnoxious clean-up songs. It’s just that within twelve hours it’s going to look like that all over again. It’s not that you don’t care. You are simply more interested in your child than a spotless home.
4. You’re (almost) sick of reading the same bedtime story for like, 11 days in a row.
Um yeah. It’s okay. We all know that Pete the Cat was cute the first three times. If you’ve gotten to 11 then it’s clear that you’re actually reading to your kid, which is a total win. Nice work mama.
5. You can make a pillow fort like a boss.
Your living room looks like the bedding department in Macy’s melted, but hey, your kids are expressing their imagination in the coolest way possible. Plus, who doesn’t want to run around pretending to be a forest animal or pirate every once in a while?
6. You made your kids a home-cooked meal at least once this week.
Congrats. Seriously. You resisted the urge to make boxed mac ’n cheese again, probably did some meal prep, and served something with vegetables. Your mom game is ON.
7. You have reprimanded your kid at least once today.
I know, it kills you to upset your kids with a pointed finger and a strong “no”, but you had to do it, and your kid is better because of it. Try to let the guilt slide and embrace the reassurance that your kid is developing the fundamental boundaries necessary to navigate life.
8. You care that your kid seems off.
No, it isn’t obnoxious that you’re still worried about that lingering cough. You follow your gut and that makes you an attentive, caring parent. Don’t let anyone ever fault you for being concerned about the well-being of your children.
9. You struggle to throw out any of your kid’s artwork…even if its just a handprint.
I know…you have more than three-dozen pieces of similar looking paint blobs. But some need to go, otherwise you’ll have to rent a storage unit. Your appreciation for your child’s artistic efforts is an underlying indicator that you celebrate their unique perspective. High-five.
10. You spend more time with your kids than with your electronics.
Sure, you check your messages and Facebook feed when your kids are happily occupied, but overall, your laptop and other tantalizing gadgets may as well be collecting dust. Gone are the days of sitting peacefully and reading an article in silence from your tablet. Dude, you’re a mom now. Quality screen time is about as elusive as a hot stone massage.
11. You have a hard time resisting the urge to hug your kids.
Physical affection is one of the most overlooked necessities in child development. If you want to hug your kids, you’re love is showing. And your kids notice.
12. You have told your kid, “I love you” in the past day.
If you’ve done nothing else on the list but this, your mom game is still strong. Verbalizing love is one of the most precious gifts that you can give your child.
Bottom line, mama. If you’re “on” with even one of these points, you’re doing great. Never let anyone make you feel like you’re not momming hard enough. You are.
